Perdildo Beach
by justanotherFAYZ
Summary: The Gaiaphage has unleashed a new plague on the FAYZ. But it isn't starvation, or the human crew. It ain't bugs. And it isn't darkness either. It's...Horniness. Can Dekka Talent and a host of other moofs save Perdido Beach from its sexy fate? Or will everyone be forever trapped in Perdildo Beach? Rated M for graphic sexual imagery, profanity and bad puns. Lots of bad puns.
1. 1: Lana and Quinn Fish for genitals

Perdildo beach. Chapter 1.  
Characters: Ensemble. Loads of characters turn up, but the heroine of this story will be Dekka, hopefully.  
Genre: Heavy smut, parody.  
Set in: To broaden possibilities, and because this is a parody, it's set in no particular book period. I apologise in advance for the probable potpourri of continuity issues there will be.  
Rated: 18+/MA. Has heavy explicit sexual imagery, some profanity/swearing and bad puns. You have been warned.  
Notes: Hope you enjoy, please review, all criticism (even if its _"I want to claw my eyes out after reading this_") is welcome. Remember, this is a parody fic, so the writing will be audaciously bad and the scenarios will be ridiculous and/or implausible. My apologies. XD  
Enjoy! (Hopefully).

All rights go to the wonderful Michael Grant and everyone else in legal association with the GONE series. :3

* * *

Astrid perched herself regally on the Coates Academy school desk, her piercing blue eyes penetrating Diana's equally cold gaze.

"You know why I brought you here Astrid." She smirked, "So don't play dumb. We all know your 'Astrid the genius' or whatever."

"You know I don't know, so tell me."

Diana rolled her eyes dramatically and leaned against the blonde's face; "We all know about your little experiments Astrid. And I don't just mean on zekes."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She huffed. "I'm in love with Sam."

"Really? Because word on the street is that you're not having much _Sammy fun_ with his _Sammy suns." _

"I do not negotiate with people who make terrible puns."

Diana sighed theatrically. "Fine. I'm leaving then."

"Good."  
The brunette spun on her heel and began to leave.

...

...  
**"Wait! Diana! I want to eat your pussy!"**  
Ladris turned 180 degrees to face her rival, a cunning smile on her face; "I thought you'd never ask."  
Sam's girlfriend regained a sliver of her fallen composure; "You know…For scientific reasons. An experiment. To measure the biological—"

But Astrid Ellison had already succumbed to the enticing temptress in front of her, and tore off Diana's skirt and underwear.

It was a good thing a bed had randomly materialised that very moment.  
Astrid pushed the harlot onto the satin sheets, took a deep breath and began to explore Diana Ladris's vulva with her tongue.  
And what a vulva it was!  
The anatomy was fascinating, abundant with irresistible aromas and tastes beyond imagining.  
She licked her labia, cautiously at first, but then getting a feel for it, and wanting to taste all of it, and wanting to know everything there was to know about this rare and tasty specimen.  
Diana gasped as Astrid's tongue dug deeper and deeper into her genitals.

"So that's why they call you Astrid the genius." She whispered.  
But Ms. Ellison could not stop now. She needed this experiment to be thorough. Her results must be accurate. Informed. And most importantly, she needed to taste more of her enemy's cum.  
Diana cried out in pleasure.  
"That's it! There it is!" She gasped "For science Astrid, **for science!"**  
Finally, Astrid retreated from her test subject. She panted, and licked the bodily fluids off her lips.  
_Evidence_, she thought. _Warm, delicious evidence. _  
Diana looked smug; "So, Astrid, what were your findings? Was this experiment a success?" She mocked.

Astrid regained her haughty exterior; "Well," she said patronisingly, "To verify that the results are reliable, I might have to run some re-tests."

"How many then?"

Astrid sat up a little straighter, fixing Diana a proud and condescending expression.  
"Fifty seven."

* * *

Lana watched Quinn as he fished in solitude. The rest of his fishing crew had finished their shifts for today, and he could have gone with them, but Quinn liked his own company sometimes. Just him and his fishing rod. And Lana liked admiring from a distance, cigarette in hand.

"You know Quinn," She mused in her raspy Nevada accent, "I know how to fish too. Come over here."

Quinn, excited at the prospect of seeing his former flame, rowed to the dock next to her.

"You've learnt to fish? That's awesome!" He handed her a fishing rod, expecting her to catch something. "I mean…Like, if you wanted to show me."

"Shut up, idiot. I don't fish for fish."

"Oh…Then what do you fish for?"

The healer was impatient. "Penis."

"Oh cool. Wait, penis isn't a fish."

"…You have to be effing kidding me."

"What? It isn't! If it was I would have caught them and distributed them as part of a healthy FAYZ diet!"

"I'm asking if I can give you a hand job. For fucks sake."

Quinn froze, but not just because of his implausibly big erection. He had loved Lana from afar ever since they danced together in the Mcclub. After Lana had got with Sanjit, and also after Lana had tried to shoot him in the head, Quinn had given up on his impossible dream of loving the healer.

Could he deal with it now? Would it live up to his expectations?

With bated breath, he unzipped his trousers.

Lana's palms transcended into his pants, and began to rub the amazing spectacle that was Quinn Gaither's penis.  
It was inflated, enlarged to a grandiose size, so much so that Lana could feel the blood pumping through it and throbbing, throbbing, dick fitted as perfectly in her hand as a cigar.

Quinn released a sigh of satisfaction as Lana's hands fondled him irresistibly.

"Oh my fish."  
Lana likewise was immersed in it, until she noticed something wrong . Something very wrong.

"Quinn…Your penis won't stop growing."

"I thought that was an erection."

"No, I mean, it's like 5 times the length it was before I touched it. It's bigger than a baseball bat!" She yanked her hand away, despite an underlying desire to embrace it. To embrace Quinn and his ridiculously sized testes.

When she drew her hand away, its obscene growth was stunted.

"It must be my powers…"

"What?"

"My powers. To heal. It must be doing its job too well today." A bitter expression surfaced on her face; "But what good has being a healer ever done for me, anyway?"

"Wait, Lana…This is great. I can finally compete with Sanjit now."

"No, Quinn." Lana denied him stubbornly. "I can't undo the growth. When this erection goes down your penis will be hanging at your ankles. I've deformed you! There is no way you can be pleased about this!"

"On the contrary Lana, I think there is plenty of reason I have to be pleased about this. Lana…Will you do me the honour of…"  
"You've gone fucking insane."

"Of, you know, "being with me" tonight?"

"It's evening."

"Ok…Do you though?"

Lana could not refute him any longer. She had never seen a penis so impressive before. She yearned to be loved by this ludicrously sized fisherman. "Do it!" She demanded suddenly, dropping her jeans and boxers.

His mind hesitated.

But Quinn's penis did not. Lana had altered his organ so radically, that the semen literally shot out of his penis. Like a glue-gun.

Lana's frame shuttered with the incomparable, orgasmic delight.

"You ready for a round two?" She asked once she had caught her breath.

Suddenly, Caine appeared, flustered and as if restraining hysterics. "Guys, Diana is missing and -" His eyes fixated on Quinn. "OK Quinn, I have to ask, what happened to your junk?"

"Lana happened to my junk, Caine. Lana happened."

"Right, well we'll definitely discuss this in more detail later, but Diana and Sam's girl have been missing for 16 hours, and we've teamed up to find them. Have you seen them?"

"Caine." Lana grated. "We're busy."

"But Diana could be in grave peril!"

"Look, either help out or leave."  
_  
Help out? _What could they possibly mean by that?  
Then Caine remembered. His four bar powers. Quinn's genitals like a balloon animal.  
"Oh. I see where we're going with this…"

* * *

The Gaiaphage lay in its mineshaft, a sickly mass of neon green particles.  
Drake, an inhuman reptile coiled around its master, spoke; "Master, what is your plan?"  
The creature could not speak. But it could project its thoughts to its servant; "We must distract the FAYZIANS. Make them so distracted that they cannot work in the fields, or fish, or defend themselves, or fight. That's when we shall enslave them, and make them part of our army to take over the world. They would be able to do nothing about it."  
The sadist grinned; "And how shall we do that?"  
"We shall make them so horny they cannot feed or defend themselves. I shall use my powers to slowly infect everyone in the FAYZ so that they are so aroused, they'll forget about survival. They will be too busy having implausible sex to care about us taking over."  
"YES!" Shrieked Drake, trembling at the thought of it and snapping his whip hand in anticipation; "And then we shall rule Perdido Beach."  
"No. Not Perdido beach."  
A pause.

_"Perdildo beach."_

**To be continued…**


	2. 2: Caine makes it rain

**Chapter 2; Caine makes it rain. **  
Caine raised his right palm, focusing all his telekinetic energy on Quinn's now comically sized testicles. He used his ability to gently vibrate the fisherman's anatomy, and Quinn moaned softly at the sweet sensation.

"See Caine, you could use your powers for good, not evil!" He noted through his pleasure.

A sly smile formulated on the king's lips; "Then consider me reformed."

With an extra burst of psychic energy, Quinn ejaculated.  
An endless fountain of sperm squirted out, more jizz than 10 men put together could produce.

Yet before they could reach Lana's ravenous fallopian tubes, Caine suspended the tons of sperm in mid air. He raised it above their heads.

"We haven't showered in the FAYZ for a long time. The closest thing we'd had to a wash was Little Pete's raincloud. Some have tried washing themselves in the sea, or in dirty river water, but most have given up completely. It's a total turn off. So now, as your king, I present to you, the best shower of your lives."

Quinn and Lana, excitedly anticipating what was to come, stripped down to their underwear.  
The cloud of semen began to fall in a glorious downpour.

Lana laughed for the first time in what seemed like decades; "This is the best day of my life!" She roared, opening her mouth wide so her throat could devour some of the luscious raindrops. It smothered her throat and she could vividly taste the saltiness of it, the exhilarating taste which lavished her mouth.  
_  
Who says the FAYZ doesn't have good food? _

To think this had all come from Quinn, nothing but a coward then a sailor, made Lana laugh even harder.

Quinn himself was having a good time. He was trying to catch the jizz in his butt cheeks. Alas, it was mainly a fruitless attempt, but you couldn't fault the boy for trying.

Then, as quickly as it had come on, the shower became a puddle. Lana got down onto to her knees to lap up the remains, her appetite the farthest thing away from sated.

Caine- who was left completely dry- halted her; "Enjoyed that?" He demanded of them both.

They could not overstate how very much they enjoyed it.

"And Quinn, it seems like there's more where that came from. You wouldn't mind me creating a shower again?"

"No your highness!" He said, for the first time not praising him out of fear or irony.

"Then bow down to your king." He smirked, and undid his belt and zipper. "And I will reward you both handsomely."

Quinn dived straight into Caine's crotch, his penis so stimulated that it could have been effectively used as a spear. Quinn nibbled on Caine's testes. He started with demurely sucking on his testicles, but then working his way to his penis, and biting down on it so tenderly that Caine had to struggle not to betray his  
pride and gasp.

"Quinn, you sucker, it's my turn!" Declared Lana aggressively.

Her ex-crush pulled away, reluctantly. "…Be quick, Ok? I'd like to, ur, try it again after you. It that's ok."

Lana braced herself to blow Caine and blow him good.

Caine hesitated; "Lana. You must not touch me with your hands. I don't want to end up like my loyal subject, Quinn here. I might have a Napoleon complex, but not so bad that I want you to make my penis bigger than the statue of Liberty." He stated firmly.

"Fine. Now let's see if you can handle me…"

"And after that, my turn!" Quinn giggled in a state of euphoria; "And then, we can make it rain again!

Just as Lana was about to show Caine who _really _ran Perdido Beach, Edilio entered.

"…Lana! Quinn! Caine! What's going on?"

When there appeared to be no reply, he turned to the healer first; "Lana, how could you do that to Sanjit? He loves you!"

Without giving her a chance to explain herself, he moved on to Sam's twin brother; "Caine you scumbag! You've been the one leading this search party for Astrid and Diana! You evil sociopath. I wouldn't be surprised if Diana isn't captured by Drake or Pack leader, but is just sneaking off with Astrid to get away from such a terrible, cheating boyfriend!"

Caine's expression darkened, but not just with anger; he forgot about Diana. Oh my God, his poor, beautiful Diana…All alone, probably in the mine-shaft, or lying in a ditch, or beaten, crying out, gasping, lying on her back, waiting for Caine to rescue her…And he had cheated on her.  
_His gorgeous, wonderful Diana…_

Finally, Edilio stared Quinn square in the eye; "And Quinn. How could you betray your, ur, fish like that?"

Tears of water, not sperm, trickled down his cheek; "…I had forgotten all about my fish."

"Exactly. You're all terrible people."

Quinn ran away sobbing manly tears.

"Now Caine, I was going to tell you that we have a lead on the case. We have reason to believe Astrid and your-so-called true love are situated somewhere in Coates Academy. Safe or not, we don't know. I was going to tell you to come with me but…" He plastered a look of disgust on his face "Perhaps you should just stay here."  
And thus, the only sane man left in the FAYZ walked off.

* * *

Dekka Talent strode into the town council meeting.

The Town Council was used to update the current events of the FAYZ, to report the latest deaths from whatever terrible cause and to trade between Perdido Beach and Lake Tramonto.

The location was half-way between the two towns, in what was once an old tourist-information centre in Stefano Rey.

The new town council was comprised of 7 people; Sam, Astrid, Dekka, Albert, Brianna, Edilio and Jack.

Astrid was missing along with Diana Ladris. They had been AWOL for roughly 18 hours now. Tragically, there were suspicions that they had been devoured by Coyotes or captured by Drake.

Edilio was absent from the meeting so he could look for them.

Sam wasn't present either.

"Where's Sam?" Demanded Brianna impatiently.

"I don't know." Replied Albert. "Probably off somewhere having an angsty internal monologue about how nobody understands his pain. Now onto the first order of business; we have been making progress on the _Astrid and Diana _case. By process of elimination, we have theorized that they might be in Coates Academy." He cleared his throat. "Now on to more pressing news…"

"Why has everyone been randomly humping each other this week?" Interrupted Brianna.

"I would have stated it more eloquently, but yeah. I went down to the cabbage fields to check people were working, and while they were certainly working _it, _they weren't working the cabbage fields."

"What?" Asked Jack, incredulous.

"Let's just say that, _ahem, _to use a more subtle term, they were, well, "having anal sex orgies in a line of ten-twelve workers at a time while using the cabbages as extra anal stimulation." "

"…That wasn't a subtle term at all." Dekka unexpectedly spoke up.

"You basically just gave us a vivid description of your workers porking each other." Frowned Jack.

"That isn't the point. The point is, all the cabbages were spoilt. Cabbage consumption is down by 230% this week. That's bad economic news. I literally couldn't get them off each other. They were too aroused. Even when I bribed them and threatened to fire them they carried on. Finally, I tried to get Orc to force them off each other, but suddenly halfway through _he just joined in. _I had similar problems with Quinn's fishing team who were seen using their catches in less than appropriate ways. And may I just say, their produce is now inedible."

"Well, that's the last time I'm eating fish." Mumbled Dekka.

"This is serious. If we don't sort out this sudden sex-drive and constant need for intercourse, we may all starve to death."

Brianna's eyes widened manically with a darker realisation; "And how will I defend us when I have to kill that dumbass Drake? How can the breeze save the day if she's too busy humping everything at 300 miles per hour?"

There was a faint glow of love in Dekka's eyes; "I believe in you breeze. You can overcome this plague."

Before Brianna could reply, Jack interjected; "What are the chances that this is the Gaiaphage trying to sabotage us again?"

"That's a definite possibility." Admitted Albert. "But Edilio and Caine are busy looking for Ellison and Diana, whilst Sam is busy whining and most likely shall not stop for some days. Who could defeat the Gaiaphage for us and put a stop to this?"

"I could." Announced Dekka.

There was a silence.

"I'm not going to let that thing scare me. I could face it."

Jack was relieved that she hadn't mentioned him. "Ok have fun with that."

"No Jack; your coming with me. Man up, for once! And Breeze, we'll need your powers. I'll also need to round up some other people…"

"How long will that take you? Food supplies are going down by the minute, and it's only a matter of time until everyone in the FAYZ is infected." Said Albert.

"Well, it'll take me a day or two to assemble my team. I'd say 48 hours at the most."

Suddenly Brianna was overtaken by an irrepressible urge deep in her thighs. A burn almost. But a good burn. She couldn't contain it.

Dekka watched as her crush seized Jack and kissed him passionately, crying; **"Let me see your man boobs!" **

Jack complied eagerly, slipping out of his shirt with his sweaty palms.

Brianna clutched his supple male breasts, placing her head in-between them. Then she began to swing her head back and forth at super-human speed, making Jack's nipples vibrate with the sheer speed of it.

Dekka was fuming; "Fuck it. I'm getting ready now."

**To be continued. **

**Thank you for taking the time to read my terrible fanfic! :3 I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless. Please reveiw if you have the time, all critism- however negative- is welcome. **


	3. 3: Where no mouth had gone before

**AUTHORS NOTE: **Thanks so much for the two lovely reviews I got. Sorry it took so long to upload chapter 3. :3 hope you enjoy. XOX

**Chapter 3.**

Drake's eyes fluttered open.

The Gaiaphage had awoken him. But for what?

Surely not another sex marathon.

As if hearing his thoughts, its master croaked out; "Evil plans now. Sex marathon later."

"And then evil sex marathon plans."

"Indeed." Replied the green abomination in its sinister tone. "Now, I have been successful in infecting the most influential members of the FAYZ with the virus. The one they call Lana. The one they call Caine and his female accomplice. The one they call Astrid. Orc. The one who likes to bang dead fish. But I sense there is a person who can fight against us. Someone strong, determined and brave enough to defeat our plight. She will be attacking soon, I can just feel it."

"Who?" Questioned Drake, prepared to kill her in a heartbeat.

"She is referred to as Dekka Talent. Only she can undermine our plan. And she has a whole group of humans to fight against us."

"You want me to kill them?"

"No Drake. I want you to seduce them."

* * *

Sam was unhappy.

Why did he have to be the leader? Why was Astrid missing? Why was Astrid always nagging him? Why did everyone expect him to be the hero? It wasn't fair. Nobody understood him.

Sometimes he didn't even know why he…

***CENSORED FOR TOO MUCH SAM ANGST.***

* * *

Astrid's research was finally complete.

Her hypothesis; that Diana Ladris's vagina would be the most divine thing she had ever tasted.

And thus, her results had proved her right as usual.

Throughout her little "experiment", Astrid had gorged each and every taste bud on her tongue with her foes mellifluous cum, the fluid flowing down her throat like honey and her taste buds swollen with the treat.

There had not been one centimetre of Diana's groin which she hadn't orally surveyed and evaluated. Her mouth had probed everywhere.

Astrid Ellison had gone where no mouth had gone before.

Who knew a girl so sour could taste so sweet?

And now she was lying in bed with her foe, exhausted but proud.

Caine's right hand girl yawned, turning to face her fiend; "As much as I hate to say it Astrid The Genius, that was a great night. You know what? You probably have me down as kinda a bitch, and you'd be right in thinking that. But I'm not completely selfish. I know when to give back."

The brunette leaned in on Astrid's poised and supple frame, her palms groping her toned stomach. She daintily let her hands wander below Astrid's midriff, rolling her eyes at Astrid's shock.

"Never got fingered by Sam before? Scared he might accidently fire a Sammy sun into your veg?"

But Astrid was completely entranced by the slender fingers which were ever so slowly making their way down to…

"**THERE REALLY IS A GOD!" **

"Indeed." Agreed Diana. "And it's me."

Her digits were scraping the insides of Astrid's labia, gently at first, but then sharper, almost like her hands wanted to pry her way up her fallopian tubes and claw at her ovaries.

At much as she tried to retain her dignity and to contain her desire, the palms of Diana knew all the tenderest spots of her flesh to scratch, and just where her nails could prod to make her…

Astrid went into a spasm of pure horniness.

She moaned for once out of pleasure, and not out of annoyance.

"Is this a…Orgasm?" She gasped.

"I really hope it is. It's either that or a cow giving birth."

She stabbed an index finger directly into her vulva, ignoring the panting of an entranced Ms. Ellison.

Then, she scooped up some of jizz and smeared it onto Astrid's hair until it became matted and tangled with the sticky substance.

Then she licked it off the bookworm's mane, her tongue salivating as she did so.

"This is why we hated each other. We had unresolved sexual tension right from the start."

"No shit, genius." Ladris rolled her eyes in between licks.

Without warning, Edilio entered.

"No. Fuck. No. Not again. This can't be happening again." He groaned.

Diana was unashamed; "This some repeat of a wet-dream you've been having, Edilio?"

"…Caine, Lana, Quinn…They were making it ra- Never mind, that's not the point!" He scolded. "Astrid, Sam has been worried sick! I'm surprised in you! And Diana…Okay, I'm not really surprised in you, but still! What is it with everyone today?"

"Astrid wanted to play scientist."

"Wait Edilio," Inquired Ellison, "How long have we been here?"

"You've been missing 21 hours. We thought you were both dead. Turns out you were just snacking on each other's genitals." He grated. "Now, it's my responsibility to get you girls back to safety, so you better get dressed soon."

"But Astrid tore my panties to shreds with her iron horse teeth!"

Edilio sighed. "Ok, try in one of the abandoned dorms then. There must be some underwear somewhere."

Suddenly he heard a noise. Grabbing his pistol, he turned to the door to see Drake Merwin, a devilish grin on his hellish face.

"Hey everyone." He laughed sadistically. "I've come to whip you all!"

"Actually bitch, I'm kinda tired of all this." Sighed Edilio, slapping the Darkness's slave round the face with his firearm. "Immortality or not Drake, I can still push you into an airing closet and lock the door."

He did just that.

"Ok, we ready to go or…?" He prompted the two girls.

The girls complied.

In the end Diana just decided that she was way too hot to wear panties anyway.

"Oh, and Edilio?" She took hold of the Honduran's wrist. A threat. She was smiling, but it was a ugly, devious smile.

"What, Diana?"

"If anyone asks, just tell Sam and Caine we were working on a…Science project together."

**To be continued.**

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! Please comment/review, all criticism welcome. Reveiws are like lube to me, soo... :3 XOX


	4. 4: You really rocked that boat this time

**Chapter 4; You really rocked that houseboat this time.**

The houseboat had not rocked that night.

Sam Temple was alone, sprawled under the covers, with nothing but a Sammy sun for company.

Astrid was still missing, and Edilio still wasn't back from searching for her. Sam could only assume the worst. Especially in the FAYZ.

He had tried to rescue his girlfriend himself, but the anguish in his heart prevented him from being useful. Every time he tried to rush to her aid, he erupted in an irrepressible explosion of angst.

Eventually Edilio told him to get a grip and left in a huff.

He thought about his love and her vast intellect. About her superior exterior and her logical mind. He thought of all her many talents; reading, biology, throwing small children out of windows.

She was just perfect. Where was she? Was she in the dark, panting, moaning, gasping with fear? Who had captured her?

A knock on his door.

A masculine voice echoed into his room; "Are you having implausible, abrupt or otherwise ridiculous sex with someone?"

"…No?"

"…Are you naked?"

"...No."

"Are you using your powers in a disturbing or unconventional way?"

"His power is to burn things. So I hope not." A female voice. Riddled with condescension.

Astrid!

Cautiously, Edilio opened the door to reveal a very much alive Astrid Ellison, clutching an oddly shaped bag.

Sam rose from bed to embrace her. "Where were you?"

She glanced at Edilio, who nodded softly at her with guilt but acceptance in his eyes.

"Diana and I were just…Studying biology. Human biology."

"Oh. Cool."

"And we did a little bit of physics too. The positions we got into totally defied Newton's laws. Gravity just went out the window."

"…Alright. I never really pegged Diana as a nerdy girl, but Ok."

"And I think it's fair to say we had more than a little chemistry. I mean, we _studied _chemistry. It's not like there was any between us. That would be preposterous. Or even literal chemistry, like the fluid in our vaginal regions forming a chemical reaction. Nothing like that happened."

"…So Diana's alright too?"

"Oh yes, she was sent back to Caine safe and sound. My powers of deduction estimate that they should be breeding demon babies as we speak."

"Well I'm glad you're OK." He smiled. "But now I have nothing to complain about. But I'm still glad you're OK."

Edilio left with a salute to his friend and an incredulous stare at Astrid. He was off to Perdido Beach to make plans for some attack on the Gaiaphage with Dekka, apparently.

They sat on the bed together, just Sam and Astrid, listening to the gentle sloshing of the water against the boat.

Impulsively, Sam obtained something to complain about;

"Why is my life so hard? Everyone expects me to be the leader but I don't want to be the leader and it's not fair. And why won't you bang me? And why did I make out with Taylor? And why did they not want me as leader? I deserve to be leader! It's not fair. Nobody gets it and it's all their fault."

"Sam."

"What do you want now woman? Are you here to nag me when I'm clearly going through such hard ordeals and nobody understands my pain?"

"Sam." She said sternly. "Look inside my bag."

Sam had forgotten about the peculiarly shaped carrier Astrid had.

"It's an invention I've been working on. Due to my knowledge in mathematics, mechanics and geometry, I managed to construct this. The first one made in the FAYZ. It runs on batteries, and obviously those were hard to find, but I think it'll be worth it. Lord knows how I found the necessary materials."

Sam opened the bag to reveal a magnificently large oblong contraception, very detailed. It was a pinkish colour.

In short, it was a home-made, battery powered, strap-on dildo.

"My greatest technological project ever." Declared the blonde pretentiously.

"What does this have to do with my unbearable emotional pain which I suffer all alone every day because I have to be the hero but don't want to be?"

"Well…I figured it might lighten your mood."

She put on the strap-on, standing proudly in front of her boyfriend.

Sam couldn't slip off his pyjamas quick enough. He lay on his stomach.

Astrid planted a light kiss on his derriere (his left butt cheek, to be precise), and then began lavishing his anus with lubricant. She smeared it everywhere.

She patted his ass gently, admiring her work. It jiggled slightly, just like their houseboat when they rocked it.

"I'm ready whenever you are."

Sam gave her the all-clear.

Like NASA launching the first rocket into space, Astrid turned on the dildo, grabbed her partner's thighs and humped him up the ass.

She thrust her hips into his anus, pounding her sweltering body against his sweaty flesh, humping him like a dog.

Sam had a sharp intake of breathe; every nerve ending on his butt was stimulated. It was like his rectum was burning. But it was a good burn. His body reacted like any mammal would.

His passion and enjoyment was swelling up inside him, brimming at the seams. His appetite was finally being sated.

His grunts and screams and moans could be heard on the De Sales Island.

The friction between his butt cheeks was intense, making him roar like a lion during climax.

The sensation made his moist skin sweat excessively. He moaned.

"Cheered up yet Sam?"

Sam made a sound somewhat like a cow.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"YES! YES YES YES!"

Her sex-toy still inserted in his anus, Astrid placed her palms on his abdomen and appeared to be riding on his back.

She slapped his mighty thighs. "Giddy up!" She exclaimed in ecstasy.

On his hand and knees, Sam began manoeuvring around the room.

Whilst still riding the strong legs of Sam Temple, Astrid grabbed a notebook and pencil from their desk; "So Sam, so far, what do you think of this device? How would you like it improved in the final product?"

_Final product?!_

Sam made a few incoherent grunts indicating his surprise.

"This is just the prototype."

"I am so in love with you right now!" He howled.

The houseboat was rocking more violently than it ever had before.

Astrid was riding her stead with incomprehensible enthusiasm, never feeling so much power, spurning him on passionately. And Sam was so aroused it was animal, prompting him to stomp across the floor and making it shake.

Astrid, engrossed in her feelings of domination, patted his arse with such conviction that the boat rocked almost to the point of capsizing.

"More?"

She didn't even have to ask. He nodded ferociously, still grunting like a pig.

The house swung aggressively from side to side, threatening to tip over.

With one last burst of pelvic thrusting, she whammed the dildo further up his rectum.

The houseboat tipped over.

Also tipping over the adjacent houseboat, with Justin and Roger in.

A domino effect ensued.

Every boat in Lake Tramonto plunged into the water.

And there was no rocking to be heard afterwards.

**To be continued.**


End file.
